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LarryBoy and the Bad Apple
(We immediately cut to where the previous episode left off; the FanFic Critic kicking open the G-man’s bedroom door) FFC: Then you’re not doing this alone! G-man: What the hell?! Why the-? How did-? What on-? FFC: Shut up! You think this isn’t a bad game, then how about you review it? G-man: Oh, you motherfu-! (He gets cut off as the intro plays. When it ends, we cut back to the duo sitting at the G-man’s desk) G-man (Unamused): I am the G-man, and that’s all you need to know about that… Well, if you seen the previous episode, you’ll know that (Gestures to…) the FanFic Critic is forcing me to play a VeggieTales game for the PlayStation 2. Its name, you ask? LarryBoy and the Bad Apple. (The VeggieTales theme starts as clips from the game begin to play) G-man (V.O): This game was based on the VeggieTales episode of the same name. The plot is essentially the same as the original episode, but with more characters, plot points, and a different timeline. The game received mixed reviews. On IGN, the game received a score of 4.8. While in GameFAQs, the game received a rating of 3.52 out of 5. FFC (V.O): And its shit. G-man (V.O): What? Have faith! I bet you haven’t even played it! (Cut back to the duo) G-man: Well, are you ready to jump in? (The FFC flips him off) I’ll take that as a yes. Let’s play some LarryBoy! (Cut to the opening cutscene) G-man (V.O): So, it opens with some veggie’s chocolate bar getting stolen, and for some reason, they decide it’s a good idea to get the police involved. FFC (V.O): Are they seriously going into lockdown over some stolen chocolate? Would there be a riot in the streets for something as inconsistent as that? G-man (V.O): Nonetheless, LarryBoy comes in and saves the day. And then it ends with this: LarryBoy: Remember, kids; with great chocolate comes great responsibility. (Cut back to the duo) FFC: Now they’re misquoting Spiderman? Does this game have no shame? (Cut back to the game) G-man (V.O): But now let’s actually start this game. We see something latch onto the Larrymobile, yes, that’s its name, and then we get, uh… This. Alfred: Well done, Master Larry! Bumblyburg can celebrate in peace now that the Choco Bandits are behind bars! LarryBoy: Those bars won’t be made of chocolate! Alfred: Uh… What are you eating? LarryBoy: You know what they say: Chocolate saved is chocolate earned! Alfred: That’s "Penny". LarryBoy: No, this box cost me ten bucks. FFC (V.O): Wow, it’s the first cutscene of the game, and I’m already annoyed. G-man (V.O): C’mon! It might get better! Petunia Rhubarb: This is Petunia Rhubarb reporting from Bumblyburg Park, where preparations are underway for the city’s Gala Tri-centennial Celebration. But as the city gets ready to celebrate its 300th birthday, something very odd has been discovered which has authorities concerned. (Cut back to the duo) G-man: Well, what is it? An alien sighting? FFC: The discovery of something that can cause the end of the world? G-man: Another damn Epic Mickey sequel? (Cut back to the game) Petunia: The statue of Bumblyburg’s founder, Ovadia Bumbly, has been mysteriously wrapped in what appears to be a giant spiderweb! (Cut back to the duo looking unamused) Duo (Simultaneously): Really? FFC (Solo): Is that seriously your biggest concern? For all we know, this might be the same town that shrugs off murder as no big deal! (Cut back to the game) G-man (V.O): Anyway, after whatever that was, we then see our main villain. And her name is, no joke, the Bad Apple. FFC (V.O): Are we to assume that all fruits in the VeggieTales universe are evil? What about Bob the Tomato? I bet he’s- G-man (V.O): I’m sorry to cut you off, but I have a small gripe about Bob in this game. He never appears once! If you look at the logo for Big Idea, you’ll clearly assume that both him and Larry are mascots. You think he might be able to get a freebie in here once in a while, but no! He’s never mentioned! (Cut back to the duo. Pivot appears between the two reviewers) Pivot: That’s like the time (He points to the G-man) this asshole left me out of the 50th episode! G-man: I said I was sorry! FFC: Who the hell are you?! Pivot: Sup? I’m Pivot. (The FanFic Critic facepalms) What? You’ve never seen a stick figure before? (Cut back to the game) FFC (V.O): Anyway, we FINALLY get to play this thing! We use the right analog stick to look around, the left one to move, X is jump and glide with something called a S.M.A.R.T cape, jump and square is your ground pound attack, R1 is the whirlybird ability that’s used to attack and break things, triangle is used to interact with stuff, and there’s something called the Power Drencher that’s used for things like opening new areas. Do you use circle? No, it’s L1! (Cut back to the duo) FFC: Why do all kids’ games on the PlayStation use the L and R buttons as the attacks? It’s not clever, it’s annoying! (Cut back to the game) G-man (V.O): Now that the tutorial is complete, we move on with the story. The Bad Apple finds LarryBoy’s mansion and because of plot, we’re now in a place called the Chocolate Room. FFC: First Marvel, now Willy Wonka? What’s next? A reference to Lady Gaga’s Bad Romance? G-man (V.O): DON’T GIVE THEM IDEAS! FFC (V.O): …Sorry. Anyway, as we’re going through the level, we come across these things called Temptation Seekers. TS 1: How long did the Bad Apple say we had to guard this area? I wanna go home. TS 2: Tell me about it. This is worse than boot camp; my feet are aching. TS 1: Uh, you don’t have any feet. TS 2: Thanks for pointing that out; now I’m even more miserable. (Cut back to the duo) FFC: I’m annoyed again. G-man: It’s okay. They don’t talk any more. FFC: Good. (Cut back to the game) G-man (V.O): After we go through the chocolate room, we meet the Bad Apple again. LarryBoy: It’s… It’s you! BA: Why, if it isn’t the infamous LarryBoy attempting to overcome his temptation. (She laughs) You’ll never get past my trap! FFC (V.O): The trap isn’t even that good! It’s just a shitty minigame where you jump on the correct number before the rest disappear! What else does she consider a "Trap"? BA: You may have resisted for now, LarryBoy. But there are others who won’t be as fortunate. Soon, Bumblyburg will be mine! (Cut to later in the game. We’re back in the Larry Cave) Alfred: Hello, Master Larry. Are you ready for a new S.M.A.R.T cape ability? LarryBoy: You know I am! Alfred: It is now possible to transform yourself into a powerful source of energy. By doing so, you can stimulate electronic or mechanical devices. Press and hold the circle button to do this. (Cut back to the duo) FFC: Oh, NOW we can use the circle button! That’s like showing the title of a movie after the damn movie! It’s bullshit! (Cut back to the game) G-man (V.O): After we learn about our new ability, we learn that, and this is word-for-word, Mayor Blueberry has fallen into a web of temptation. Literally, she walked through a web/portal and now she’s given in. Anyway, we’re now in some kind of mansion, when later on, this happens: Alfred: I firmly believe there is more to this library than what we perceive. LarryBoy: Then I better not leave, but I cannot conceive of a way escaping before New Year’s Eve. (Cut back to the duo) G-man: What was the point of that? FFC: Bullshit and/or padding. (Cut back to the game) FFC (V.O): After we do some bullshit with pulling books, we enter a mine that has no point other than for being tedious. Actually, we enter two so we can unlock a door that leads us to- Alfred: …With extra pepperoni, please. Oh, and thin crust, too, I love thin crust. LarryBoy: Don’t forget the anchovies… Alfred: And anchovies, as well. LarryBoy: …And extra LarryBoy. Alfred: Yes, and extra Larry… Oh, Master Larry, I must’ve accidentally pressed the communicator button. My apologies. (Cut back to the duo looking confused) FFC: What the fuck was the point of that? G-man: Like you said: Bullshit and/or padding. (Cut back to the game) FFC (V.O): As I was saying, we open a door that leads us to Mayor Blueberry. BA: My goodness, from every angle you look dazzling. Blueberry: This dress is marvelous! Ohhh, it’s so pretty! BA: Well I’m certainly convinced that you are the world’s finest looking mayor. LarryBoy: May your tempting end here, Bad Apple! BA: You again!? I can see you’re going to be a thorn in my side. LarryBoy: The city of Bumblyburg is relying on you to help organize the big celebration, Mayor Blueberry! Blueberry: Oh my… Is that you, Lerryboy? (Cut to a vine) Woman: Bitch, is you blind? (Cut back to the game) G-man (V.O): After another boss fight, we save Mayor Blueberry. Blueberry: LarryBoy! Oh, thank you, thank you so very much! BA: You all won’t be so grateful when you see how many of Bumblyburg’s citizens easily fall into temptation! (She disappears) Blueberry: I was so enraptured by these beautiful clothes. I had no idea it was such a big problem. LarryBoy: You can’t be the mayor God wants you to be if all you ever think about is how you look. (Cut to a stock photo of the Pearly Gates. A voice, presumably God’s, is heard) God (V.O voiced by the G-man): Actually, I don’t give a shit. (Cut back to the game) FFC (V.O): When we head back to the Larry Cave, we get a new ability. Pressing the L2 button will go into aim mode so we can use LarryBoy’s Super Suction Ears to grab and swing from floating targets. After a quick tutorial, we learn that the Bad Apple has paid Petunia Rhubarb a visit. She’s now in a temptation web that’s based on video games. (Cut back to the duo) G-man: Wait, so the temptation is a video game world… Inside a video game? Give me a second to process this… (The G-man’s head explodes. Startling the FanFic Critic) FFC: What the fu-?! (She gets cut off as we cut back to the game) FFC (V.O): So, we hit bunch of switches with our new ability, and then this happens: Alfred: Oh, now this is interesting. You’ve found a quad sync master control switch, but without enough power it won’t do anything. LarryBoy: What do you suggest, Alfred? Alfred: To accumulate enough power you’re going to have to locate and charge up its four cell generators. Thankfully, the first cell is right next to the master control switch. LarryBoy: I’m curious, Alfred. If my name was 'Control Switch', would you call me 'Master Control Switch'? Alfred: Well, I suppose I would, Master Larry. Why do you ask? LarryBoy: Just checking. (Cut back to the duo) G-man: And I repeat; what was the point of that? Did they throw that in to get a chuckle? If so, it failed. Hard! (Cut back to the game) G-man (V.O): After we find all the generators, we throw the switch and enter some kind of side scrolling level. Afterwards, we get to Petunia. BA: These next-gen games are outstanding, are they not? Gorgeous graphics, state-of-the-art technology, all of which only a talented gamer like yourself could appreciate. (Cut back to the duo) G-man: And then Sword Art Online came around and, well, let’s just say you’ll be retracting that statement. (Cut back to the game) LarryBoy: Here’s little game I like to call, 'I win, and you lose'! Wanna play? BA: LarryBoy!? What must I do to get rid of you!? (The text "Mixed green salad?" pops up for a brief moment) LarryBoy: Petunia! Bumblyburg needs to learn the news about the webs and the birthday celebration! FFC (V.O): Is that your biggest concern? The Bad Apple is trying to take over the world, and you’re worried about Petunia’s job? I’m starting to see why you were kicked out of the Avengers. Also, this boss fight is way too easy. All you have to do is hit the target, and that’s it. It’s not challenging, it’s tedious! Petunia: Oh, I’m free! Thank you, LarryBoy! BA: One person is free, while a dozen more become enslaved by their own personal temptations. Bumblyburg is doomed! (She laughs before disappearing) Petunia: I never thought playing video games could get me into so much trouble. LarryBoy: It only becomes trouble when you choose to play games instead of taking care of more important things. Petunia: And right now, it’s more important to report the news to Bumblyburg! I can play games later! (Cut back to the duo) G-man: You know, it’d be ironic if she said “Eh. One more level wouldn’t hurt!”. (Cut back to the game) G-man (V.O): Back at the Larry Cave, we learn some kind of slingshot ability, and then we proceed with the story. Pa Grape, who for some reason is Fire Marshal Grape in this game, has fallen into temptation. And you’re probably expecting something like being a hero, or even marrying someone famous. No, it’s all about toys. FFC (V.O): Are you serious? This is the worst weakness ever! Right behind Superman’s kryptonite! G-man (V.O): Amen to that! Anyway, after we launch some rocket that takes way to damn long, we reveal a switch that opens up the front door. And after whole lot of bullshit, we reach a volcano. Alfred: Oh my. The landscape is heavily guarded. This will be your most dangerous test thus far, Master Larry. Have courage, and don’t be afraid. LarryBoy: Here I go! Alfred: This may sound odd, but if the volcano is set off, a way of proceeding could be provided. (Cut back to the duo) G-man: I’m not saying it’s crazy, but its pretty high up there! (Cut back to the game) FFC (V.O): And now we come to rescue Fire Marshal Grape. BA: These toys are sold out worldwide, and they’re all yours, dumping! Grape: I’ve searched every store in Bumblyburg, and all the popular websites… Some of the unpopular ones, too. I couldn’t find them anywhere! And now here they all are, right in front of me! BA: Well I guarantee you have the best toy collection anyone has ever seen. (Cut to a picture of the Angry Video Game Nerd with the caption "BITCH PLEASE!" in all capital letters. Cut back to the game) G-man (V.O): After another terrible boss battle, we rescue Fire Marshal Grape. Grape: Boy, when I think about how much Bumblyburg relies on the fire department, it makes toys seem so small and insignificant. LarryBoy: We all love toys. But having a lot of them for yourself won’t do any good for someone else who needs help. Grape: That’s right! The entire fire squad needs my help; they’re relying on me. These toys can wait; I gotta get going! Thank you! FFC (V.O): And we don’t even get to breathe before we see another veggie fall into temptation! This time, it’s Mr. Lunt with his obsession with Star Trek. G-man (V.O): Well, since they obviously can’t get the rights to it, we’ll call it Totally Not Star Trek. (Cut back to the duo) FFC: Alright, just keep the Totally Not jokes to a minimum. G-man: I make no promises. (Cut back to the game) G-man (V.O): Anyway, we’re now in the last level. After going through a fuckload of traps, we get to Mr. Lunt and the Bad Apple. BA: Enjoying the show? Lunt: Oh yeah! Galactic Commander 9 is my favorite movie in the series. This limited-edition DVD is the best! BA: I couldn’t agree more. And you’re the first person in Bumblyburg to own it. LarryBoy: And he’ll be the last person you’ll tempt, Bad Apple! BA: LarryBoy!? I’ve had it with your untimely interruptions! LarryBoy: Snap out of it, Baker Lunt! You have a cake to bake! (Cut back to the duo) G-man: Baker Lunt? Fire Marshal Grape? What’s with the different names? Why not call them by their real ones? (Cut back to the game) FFC (V.O): After another boss battle, we save… (She sighs) Baker Lunt. Lunt: All this trouble just to watch a movie. I don’t know what I was thinking. LarryBoy: It’s okay to enjoy a good movie, but just make sure your responsibilities are taken care of first. Lunt: Yeah, I sure do love watching movies, but you know what I just realized? I love baking even more! G-man (V.O): After that, we go back to Bumblyburg where the Bad Apple has unleashed Apply’s Funhouse 2. What happened to one? (Cut to a clip from SpongeBob SquarePants where an explosion occurs. Cut back to the duo) G-man: She doesn’t like to talk about it… (Cut back to the game) FFC (V.O): After we beat the final boss, the Bad Apple is defeated, the party goes on as planned, and we’re left with these words: LarryBoy: Thank you, Mayor! But I can’t take the credit. Temptation is too strong for any one of us to handle alone. We need God’s help, and the help of the people around us, our friends, and our families. (Cut back to the duo) FFC: And with that, our game is over. Holy hell, this was-! G-man (Interrupting): Hold up! Come with me… (The two then walk out of the G-man’s room. We then fade to them in the workshop in the basement where a laptop computer is) FFC: Why are we here? G-man: We’re over here by QWERTY’s low-budget cousin to talk about what we learned today. Background singers (V.O singing): And so, what we have learned applies to our lives today and God has a lot to say in his book! FFC: What the fuck was that? G-man: Yeah, that plays every time those words are uttered. Background singers (V.O singing): You see we know that God’s word is for everyone and now that our song is done, we’ll take a look! (The G-man presses the spacebar on the laptop, and text pops up on the screen reading "You were right") FFC: …Say what? G-man: Yep. As much as it pains me, you were right. This game was repetitive in so many places, and even though I love the show, I feel the opposite for this game. FFC: Huh. Well, revenge has been brought! Bye! (She walks out of frame) G-man: That was weird. Well, I am the- FFC (From offscreen): Catch! (She throws a paper airplane at the G-man. Whom of which catches and unfolds it. Cut to black where the G-man’s voice is heard) G-man (V.O): What the hell is Peppermint Park? Category:Episode